Monday Musing



It’s the week of Valentine’s Day, and the whole country is focused on romance. I’m a romantic at heart. I love a good romance. (That should be pretty obvious considering I spend my time writing romance novels.) That being said, I’m also a realist. Cinderella and Prince Charming maybe a wonderful romantic ideal, but for most of us, once we get past that first dreamy, breathless falling in love phase, happily ever after looks a lot different than it does in the storybooks. Jobs and kids and obligations and the day-to-day reality of making a life hit. Romance begins to take more and more of a backseat, and even the most romantic among us can need a little help keeping the romance alive.

Personally, I think those of us in DD relationships have a little bit of a leg up on the vanilla population in this regard. For one thing, DD gives us an outlet to deal with the everyday irritations and problems that can build up and create frustrations, irritations, and anger that can make it hard for the intimacy and trust that romance require. That doesn’t mean that these things don’t happen in DD relationships. They do. The structure of a DD relationship just gives us an outlet other than continual arguing and bickering. That in and of itself I think gives a DD couple something of an advantage in trying to keep the romance alive.

For another, people in this type of relationship are usually intimately aware of their own sexual and emotional needs, in a way that I think is far beyond what the general population is aware of themselves.Many of us have spent a long time sorting this out for ourselves and have had painfully honest conversations with our partners about it.  According to statistics, this differs from the general population.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not confusing DD with sex or even sexual spanking. They are different. I’m well aware of this but that’s a subject for another post. All I’m saying is most of us if we have a partner and have been honest with them about our need or desire for a DD relationship have had practice at doing all these things that the statistics say many couples do not do.

That being said, any relationship can be vulnerable to distance caused by the wear and tear of everyday life. Sometimes, all of us have to make more of an effort to keep the romance alive, regardless of what nature or form our relationship takes.

It doesn’t always have to be a big elaborate thing. Sometimes it might simply be as small as having a meal that your partner particularly likes or doing something you know your partner likes doing. One of the things that Grant and Lainie do both in Learning to Live Again and Unexpected Surprises is to make an effort to spend time together after dinner. In the summer, during Learning to Live Again, they take walks together. Given the nature of winter in Colorado, that’s not particularly practical in February so it’s not surprising that this has slipped a bit by the time of Unexpected Surprises. That’s part of the reason why it is so important for Grant to do something special for Valentine’s Day. He realizes they are losing some of that intimacy and romance and wants to get it back.

Frankly, that’s a theme throughout all of the stories in Love in the Rockies. All of the couples are trying to do something special for Valentines to keep the romance alive. Much like in real life, things don’t always go as planned, but thankfully our characters always managed to salvage it somehow.

What about you? What do you do or wish your partner would do to help keep the romance alive in your relationship?



If you would like to check out what six of the Corbin’s Bend couples do to celebrate Valentine’s Day and keep the romance alive in their own relationships, Love in the Rockies is available now from AmazonBarnes and Noble, and Blushing Books.