As I’ve said before, scolding (or lecturing or telling off depending on your preferred term), is, for me at least, a very important part of the whole three act drama that I think a spanking really is. (If you want the whole long spill on the subject, see my previous post for SRR Roundtable on aftercare) For myself personally, I think particularly because my submissive side seems to be very much that of a Little (Again, see aftercare post for further details), it is very hard for me to get much out of the spanking without it. I need it, in some capacity, even if it is lighthearted play pretend and everybody knows that we’re playing.This has unfortunately been a very difficult thing for me to explain to the handful of guys with whom I’ve tried experimenting. I get it. I have a quirky DD/Ageplay dynamic, and it’s one in which scolding plays a very important role.
Before I get sidetracked much further, let’s first be clear about what scolding is and what it isn’t. It is a very pointed and often stern discussion about whatever behavior/action/circumstance lead to the coming consequences. It is not yelling, ranting or berating (unless of course that is what BOTH partners have negotiated and agreed to beforehand. I personally would never in a million years agree to that because those are hard limits for me, but my kink is not your kink and that’s okay.)It’s also not solely about saying the right things. To do it right, there’s other things too. tone, body language, and of course, the infamous Look.
Personally, I think this guy has the body language down. It says quite clearly, “And just what do you have to say for yourself?”
Copyright: keeweeboy / 123RF Stock Photo
I think Garrett., from my WIP Loving Landon does a pretty good job of this in the short story School Nights from my One of Those Nights Anthology. In the following snippet, Garrett has discovered that his partner Landon, whom he has finally convinced to return to college, has failed in English exam he’d promised he didn’t need to study for. However, in the ensuing conversation, Garrett discovers that Landon’s failing grade is more than likely due to test anxiety than lack of preparation.
“You can’t control your test anxiety, and I will never punish you for something you can’t control.” Landon sagged with relief, but immediately tensed again when Garret went on. “What concerns me is that you never told me you were having trouble with tests.” Landon hung his head, but Garret tapped a finger under his chin and drew it back up. “Why, kiddo? Why didn’t you tell me you were having trouble?”
Landon blushed furiously. A thousand answers formed in his mind, but the words wouldn’t form. He shifted, swallowing hard against the logjam in his throat, but it was useless.
Garret dealt him a sharp swat against the side of his leg. “Answer me, Landon James.”
The sting made him yelp and loosed his tongue. The words seemed to tumble out of their own accord. “I didn’t think you could help. I didn’t think anybody could help. It seemed stupid.” The already strained whisper dropped even lower, barely audible. “I felt stupid.”
Garret sighed, equally affectionate and exasperated, and gave him a brief but crushing hug. “We’ve been here before, haven’t we, kiddo?” Garret asked gently. “Are you stupid?”
Landon shook his head. “No, sir.”
Garret ran a gentle hand down his back. “And what are you supposed to do if you start feeling like that?”
“Tell you,” Landon whispered.
“And if you don’t?” Garret prompted.
“Come on, Gare,” Landon whined. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. Please.”
“If you don’t, you get a spanking,” Garret finished calmly. “I understand it’s hard for you so for the moment, you need a motivator that is stronger than all the reasons it’s hard.”
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