As a writer, there are two elements that I can guarantee will always be in every story I write. One is consent. I once wrestled with the character for six months before I figured out a way to get this character to consent, in some way, to the spanking I knew was going to happen. I don’t say this to disparage in any way stories or writers that do deal with nonconsensual or dubiously consensual elements. I just can’t write it.
The other absolute for me is aftercare. To my mind, it’s a critical element to any spanking. The way I see it a spanking is not simply one single action. It’s an event with three distinct stages. The first is a sort of preamble. Since I deal mostly with DD and discipline spankings, this is the lecture/ scolding stage. It could also be a setup role play or teasing and play that precedes the actual act itself. The second is the spanking itself. The action, as it were, and the last is aftercare. Depending on what type of spanking your dealing with it could be cuddling and forgiveness. It could be sex. It could be any number of other things involved in ‘coming down’ and reconnecting, but it is there.
I’ve been hanging around the spanking community long enough to know that not everyone shares my perception. That’s okay. I can only speak to my own experience, and my own experience, and my own peculiar dynamic happens to be something of a mix between DD/HOH and age play. At least, age play is the closest thing I have to label or describe what happens inside my head. With the exception of a few times, that weren’t particularly memorable anyway, mostly because my partner did not understand the stages I’ve described above, I get into a little headspace during a spanking and come out of it clingy and needing reassurance. Aftercare isn’t optional at that point, it’s essential. This isn’t necessarily a deliberate choice on my part. Often, it’s almost entirely unconscious, and requires reassurance to get back to ‘normal’. That means in my world aftercare is absolute bedrock. I haven’t always known that, but now that I do. I can’t do without it, even for my characters.